DOMESTIC ABUSE AGAINST MEN – THE FACTS
 
DEFINITION
 
The Home Office definition of a domestic violence incident is:
 
            Any incident or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or are family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.
 
It is the one that the ManKind Initiative uses.
 
 
STATISTICS
 
British Crime Survey statistics (2001-2007) show that 24% of all incidents of domestic violence are perpetrated against men.
 

 
The Home Office have also published evidence that one in six(1) men will become a victim in his lifetime. At least one in every 33%-40% approximately of domestic violence(2) victims are men.
 

 
1. Walby, S. and Allen, J. (2004) Domestic Violence, sexual assault and stalking : Findings from the British Crime Survey. Home Office Research Study No. 276. London : Home Office

 2. In 2005/06 (‘Homicides, Firearms Offences and Intimate Violence 05/06 : Supplementary Volume 1 to Crime in England and Wales 2005/06 – Home Office Statistical Bulletin 02/07), 5.7% of women and 4.0% of men reported suffering non-sexual partner abuse, a proportion of 41% for men. Of these 3.0% of women and 1.8% of men reported suffering ‘actual force’, a proportion of 37.5%.
 
 
 
PROFILES

The profile of a male sufferer:
Age 42 : height 5’9’’ : weight 11 stone 9lbs : 35% professional, 38% skilled, 19% semi-skilled, 9% unskilled : 13% are registered disabled : 88% are white, 4% are black 4% asian, 1% mixed, 2% other.
The profile of the female abuser:
Age 40 : height 5’6’ : weight 10 stone 2lbs : 29% professional, 13% skilled, 19% semi-skilled, 39% unskilled : 6% are registered disabled : 81% are white, 7% are black, 6% asian, 3% mixed, 1% other, 1% chinese

THE RANGE OF ABUSE SUFFERED BY MEN

Our current survey shows that on average a male victim will suffer from domestic abuse in the following way :
Duration – average five and a half years with 72% suffering from it weekly or daily
Physical – 76% are punched : 59% are scratched : 75% are slapped : 59% are hit with sharp or blunt instruments : 57% are kicked : 25% are kicked in the groin : 27% are spat at : 10% are head butted : 16% have scalding water thrown over them.
Mental – 91% are shouted at : 91% are controlled : 93% are verbally denigrated:76% suffer from false allegations : 66% are threatened with a police callout : 72% suffer from sleep deprivation : 64% suffer from physical threats : 46% suffer from police callouts : 31% suffer from death threats : 14% suffer from ex-partie injunctions.

Sexual abuse –
53% are sexually denigrated : 10% are sexually abused.
Financial control – 53% suffer from their partner’s debt : 59% suffer from financial control by partner.

Use of children –
39% of mothers threaten to remove the children : 40% encourage the children to ignore or undermine him : 9% encourage the children to assault him.
Children – 78% of callers have children : 71% are aged under 12 : 48% witnessed the physical abuse : 59% witnessed the mental abuse : 64% heard the abuse : 16% were physically abused by the mother.

Accessing help
Police – 59% sought help : 28% arrested, 18% were asked to leave, 35% were offered no help, 19% help offered.
Social Services – 30% sought help : 40% sided with partner, 43% ignored the problem, 17% were helpful.
Housing – 27% sought help : 26% were helpful : 74% were unhelpful
 
THE PROBLEMS MALE VICTIMS FACE

When the issue of domestic abuse was highlighted in the 1970s by Erin Pizzey, and the first female refuge was opened, there has been a systemic campaign to help female victims.

However, instead of treating domestic abuse as a gender neutral social problem, male victims have been systematically ignored.  If, at the start of the 21st century, the UK is truly to have equality and people are to be treated as individuals and their race and gender is irrelevant, then male victims can no longer be ignored.

The campaign for recognition for male victims is at the same stage that female victims were in the 1970s. The recognition and support systems for men are some 35 years behind.

The problems that male victims face are :-
Lack of recognition by the state
The state (in the guise of local authorities, Government, the police, the health service) do not actively help male victims. It is a form of instutionalised sexism and an example of political correctness in action. The Home Office know they are male victims (they produce the statistics) but do not provide support for them. The only conclusion is that this is done on purpose.

Examples of this are:-
1. (1) There are over 470 refuges available to women but there are no dedicated refuges for heterosexual men and only one for homosexual men. There are only approximately twelve rooms available for heterosexual men nationwide in the 470 refuges and these are only available when there are no female occupants. These places are dependent on the goodwill of those who run the refuges.

2. The government through the Supporting Initiatives budget offer c£60 million per year.  In 2006/07, £60 million was allocated to local authorities through the Supporting People initiative to provide services for people suffering from domestic violence. However, this money is only for Women at Risk of Domestic Violence. This money is not available to help male victims. Local authorities have to fund any provision for male victims themselves and the majority therefore do not.

3. There is no pressure on local authorities to provide support. The government measures the ability of local authorities to provide refuges and sanctuary schemes for domestic violence victims (Performance Indicator BV 225 - definition of places (2) and sanctuary schemes (7)). Again, this is only for women and children. There is no measure for supporting male victims.  The Audit Commission has been challenged over this but claims their hands are tied. They can only measure what they have been asked to measure.

4. The lack of recognition for male victims throughout the state system means that local authorities, the police and others do not have specialists who are trained or educated to identify and support male victims. Training for those who specialise on helping victims of domestic violence should also include recognition and training to identify and support male victims. As shown by statistics, many men have found that when they approach the authorities they are not taken seriously.
5. Apart from in the Surrey Police area, if you go to a library, GP surgery, hospital etc, there are plenty of leaflets aimed at female victims. There are none for men. 
6.Local authorities and domestic violence forums will regularly run campaigns including leaflets and adverts but these are all for female victims. They do nothing to support male victims. 

Lack of recognition by the media
Whilst there has been some movement in the media (some local radio stations and newspapers, Channel 5, The Independent) have run regular stories about male victims, the default position of the media generally is that all victims are female and all perpetrators are male. The BBC is the worst for this.
This has to be challenged but some areas of the media are starting to change. This is good.
 
Men themselves
Many men feel embarrassed to admit they are a victim of domestic abuse especially as the females are known as the ‘weaker sex’ and tend to be smaller in both height and stature. Many calls that the helpline receives are from friends and family, wanting to get help for a male victims, who will not seek help himself.
This is not helped by the lack of support from the authorities. Often, a male victim will not be treated by the police as a victim but as the perpetrator.

Men are not alone and The Mankind Initiative can give information and support.

CASE STUDIES

Below are real examples of some of the calls that the help-line has received. All details and names of course remain anonymous.

Subject A

Whilst Mr. A. was at home with his daughter and a friend, he was subjected to a frightening attack upon his property by his ex-wife ( she was pregnant at the time by her new partner ) who was angry that he had not placed their joint property on the market as soon as she had ordered him to.

She shattered a window from the outside, using a cricket bat, and showering glass over his daughter who was sat by the window.

Upon calling the police, two officers ( one male, the other female ) informed him that they were not prepared to take action because the female officer would not arrest a pregnant woman and the male officer felt that she was entitled to do whatever she wanted to do with her own property. They then fabricated a story that her friend had witnessed Mr. A smashing the glass himself.

Enquiries by ManKind established that the friend knew what Mrs. A. was going to do and would not go along with her. Protests by ManKind at the police station were met by an indifferent sergeant who instructed us to keep out of it. We prepared an official complaint for our member, and only then did the officer take action, resulting in a caution for Mrs. A and a reprimand for the two officers in question.

Subject B

Both Mr. B. and his two children suffered years of abuse from Mrs. B. He finally resorted to locking the children in a separate bedroom with himself every night and placing a wardrobe against the door.

Despite repeated pleas for help from Social Services and the Police, he was informed that there was nothing available to assist men.

Eventually, he was divorced and residence of the children was granted to his violent wife. His children still suffer and he is unable to stop it.

Subject C

Mr. C. suffered emotional abuse from his wife up until his divorce. His children suffered emotional and physical abuse from Mrs. C. as well as witnessing a stream of daytime lovers whilst Mr. C. was at work.
He requested help from Social Services, Health Visitors and the NSPCC and was offered none. The Health Visitor suggested that he desert the family home as she felt that Mrs. C. would then settle down. It came to a head when he removed her from the family home. Her parents would not take her in because of her behaviour and she ended up in a Women’s Refuge.

During the divorce proceedings local neighbours signed affidavits in order to ensure that a violent mother did not gain residence of the children. These were ignored by the Court Welfare Officer and the Judge who acknowledged that she was a bad mother whilst Mr. C. was an exemplary father. However, he rewarded her bad behaviour by granting her residence of the children. Her violent behaviour still continues unchecked by the agencies who are supposed to protect them.

Subject D

Mr. D. suffered years of physical and emotional abuse from his wife. Mrs. D. sexually abused his son and she was arrested when Mr. D. contacted the Police, Social Services and the NSPCC.

Mrs. D. admitted the abuse during the case conference. Social Services changed the sexual abuse to “inappropriate handling” , which decriminalised the offence. Social Workers informed Mr. D. that they did not believe him because he was a man and that women do not abuse.

Mr. D. appealed to the Ombudsman who would do nothing as the events were too long ago, which is strange when events of 20 years or so are investigated.

They are now separated and Mrs. D. has custody of the boy who is totally dominated by his mother and only allowed to see Mr. D. as and when she decides. Mr.D. is now on constant medication.

Subject E

Mr. E. and his children suffered years of physical and emotional abuse from Mrs. E. Mr. E. was a housefather and was subjected to constant denigration by his abusive wife. She was a psychiatric nurse and had an excellent knowledge of the effects of mental and physical abuse. As well as being physically abusive, (she once threw a full-sized table across the room in her anger) she was domineering to the point that he would have to think carefully about anything that he said in case it angered her.

Added to this was her ability to engineer arguments in order to provoke a verbal retaliation or better still a physical reaction when she had attacked him. Mrs. E. used these skills when she finally decided to remove him from the home and family.
In order to achieve this she subjected him to months of false allegations resulting in Mr. E. being constantly arrested and on occasions being imprisoned whilst awaiting hearings. Mr. E. lived in constant fear of the next argument, followed by a late night call from the police.

As in many of these cases, despite being the housefather, he was removed from the family home by the courts when they separated. Mrs. E. was able to play the DV card and use the full powers of the system in order to arrange his removal from home and children.

Mr. E. has slowly come to terms with the outcome but has remained permanently scarred, mentally. He is still unable to venture far from home for long periods without being overcome with panic attacks. Meanwhile the records will show that his wife was the victim of domestic violence. In truth she is in need of psychiatric help for being the perpetrator of violence rather than the victim and Mr. E. requires compensation for the emotional injuries inflicted upon him by a blinkered system.

Subject F

Mr. F. has been subjected to years of manipulation by Mrs. F. in a way similar to the above case. She had decided that she wanted him out of her life. Mr. F. left her with the children and family home in order to maintain a peaceful existence for the children. This was insufficient for Mrs. F. She also wanted him out of the lives of the children and undertook a campaign of harassment against Mr. F. using the DV card.

The pattern was the same - provocation into an argument followed by a false accusation. The Police have responded to her every call, resulting in caution after caution for Mr. F.

ManKind advised Mr. F. to work through a third party when picking up the children and under no circumstances to phone or write to Mrs. F. He maintained this action for three months, yet Mrs. F. was able to have Mr. F. arrested on false claims of harassment. He was held for several hours; nothing could be proved because there was nothing to prove. A solicitor was able to convince the police of the error of their ways and he was promptly released.

Subject G

Mr.G. was subjected to years of emotional abuse by his wife - possibly physical abuse. We will never know because he committed suicide.